English Breakfast

Genre: Comedy, Slice of life

Written Autumn 2025, English Breakfast presents a light hearted examination of the male ego under stress when confronted by an unpredicatble morning.

Preview

“Cup O’tea?” She asks.

Such a simple question, yet it paralyses me. Now, should I agree then I have to drink it, you can’t just ask for tea and then not drink. It’s impolite, practically sacrilegious to most people’s sensibilities. So if I agree, that means staying. Drinking tea, after all, is a significant investment. However, should I decline then I’m nothing short of rude. She’s offered to labour over a kettle, to pick out cups and saucers she’ll need to wash once I’m gone.

And I need to get going. I’ve got places to be, like the pub or the bowling alley. I’m sure there was something else I ought to be doing today. Yet here I am on the edge of her kitchen again. Again? Did I see her kitchen last time? It was dark and I was rather preoccupied trying to appear less drunk than I actually was.